Ever wondered why love at all?
Ever wondered why it sometimes get complicated?
Ever wondered why you hold on despite the uncertainties?
Ever wondered why you chose the one you chose?
Ever wondered why you will do it all over again?

Love is beautiful and ugly all at once
Love brings out both the best and worst in you
Love can make a sick man well
Love can make a well man sick
Love is can make one start to live again

In My Feelings

My heart is overwhelmed and I’m trying to explain the feeling. I can’t even sleep. It feels like both anger and hurt. My heart races and wrenches at the same time.

I know what it feels when the one you think knows and understands you perfectly holds a past grudge or quarrel over your head. I felt all by myself. It was like all hopes was lost again and the cycle is starting again.

I had reasons to retaliate and point out some past grudges so that I could justify myself and give myself some comfort that I’m not so bad after all.

I’m exhausted but sleep is far from me. My extreme exhaustion after a long day’s work is no longer evident and when I say I want to get away from it all, it is carefully misconstrued. Oh! So depressing it is. 

I can’t go down this path anymore. I have been reborn. I chose life not what others think I should get. Although difficult, I chose to see and believe the best in myself despite what I hear. Even when my tears flow, I will not be broken. Love lives here. That’s final!

MisTrust

 I want to live again in that trust

Trust that we once had

Trust that was unfaltering

I want to believe I have more

Even though I saw it being trampled on

I saw it all but waited

Waited for your admissions

Hoped on your confessions

That I may believe in our redemption

Because hope should make ashamed 

I thought we had friendship

I thought it was a true relationship

I wanted us to be true

Fears allayed, trust unwanted

The perfect example of wholesomeness

When it finally came

It was a confrontation

Then came the admission

Oh! The heartache

Heart shattered in a million pieces 

Heartache perfectly concealed

Over the years in endurance

I thought I could take it

But all I did was fake it

Redemption was not in sight

The spark we had was no more

Gave it my best some more

The hope that maybe someday

All our fear are put allayed

All you ever wanted was be away from me

I asked and you ignored

I prodded and you insinuated it wasn't my business

It made me think ove and over again

I believe I deserve some closure

And I see it is the one thing you won't give

I ask myself, "where did I go wrong?"

I promised never to fall in love and here I am

I promised not to be misled into trusting

Because MisTrust is all I ever knew

And it seems like it is all I will ever know 

Then it finally dawned on me

Even fairytales are not real

All that life has to offer is a lie

From the tender age of 8 till now

I guess I will always live this lie